Some Amber Alert’s R BOOSHIT…

*Amber Alert originated in the US in 1996 after 9yr old Amber Hagerman was abducted and murdered in Arlington, Texas…and bippity, boppity, boo…*

First off, I think it’s a swell idea that Amber Alerts are automatically received through our cell phones to warn us about a possible child abduction. Just like I find it helpful and informative that we receive “Flash Flood” warnings in certain areas. I don’t even mind the horrible alarm that sounds each time I receive these alerts. Child abductions are serious and if an abduction happens in my general area I want to know about it.

Amber Alerts have certain criteria you have to make in order for an AA to be issued. Law enforcement has to be absolutely positive an abduction has taken place, that the child is at risk of serious injury or death, & has to be 17yrs old or younger. (So, if you’re 18, you’re shit outta’ luck & you better figure out how to MacGyver your way out of that trunk). But if you take a look at the information provided with the Amber Alert, you’ll often notice that they have the make, model and license plate of the vehicle, as well as the first and last name of the suspect. Which usually means that the abductor and the abductee know each other and are more than likely related.Today’s Amber Alert is no different. The child abducted is Jayden Santiago and the suspect is Giovany SANTIAGO. I’m going to take a wild guess here and say that Mr. Santiago is the child’s father.

The definition of Kidnapping in the US is defined as the unlawful and non-consensual transportation of a person and is a BIG Oopsy-No-No and can hold a sentence of up to life in prison regardless if there was murder involved or not. If you kidnap a child & ask for a ransom that alone will get you life in prison! However, I do not consider a father taking his own daughter to be kidnapping, but in this case the father is armed, dangerous and suicidal. You can tell this guy doesn’t play golf on the weekends. Ward Cleaver, he is not. His hobbies include stabbing people and making failed attempts at suicide. Potato sack races with the Brady’s is not his idea of a good time. So, by all means, issue that Amber Alert & I’ll retweet the shit out of it.

This being a special circumstance where the father is not of sound mind, it is imperative that an Alert is issued in order to get the child back. However, there are some cases that should only be considered domestic disputes and we should save the Amber Alert’s for those serious abductions that happen at playgrounds, malls or when children walk home alone from school and are kidnapped by an unknown person or persons. The Amber Alert becomes a little less important when the family is able to identify the suspect through a family portrait they just took. “Overuse of AMBER Alert’s could result in the public becoming desensitized to Alerts when they are issued.” DOY!! Issuing an Alert every time a father/mother takes his or her own child is considered OVERUSE.

The usual suspect of a “kidnapped” child is the parent, usually the father, who got into some sort of custody battle with the mother & decides, after some thinking and plenty of King Cobra, that he’s going to take the kid/kids regardless of what the consequences will be. I do agree that the authorities should be notified, but unless the father is out of his McFreakin’ Mind, such as in this particular case with Santiago, perhaps we should save the Amber Alert for those who have a higher chance of possibly being sex trafficked and/or murdered. I’m all for giving the domestics their own special Alert. In fact, you can make it an app where you can upload your own photo and write a small bio about yourself, whether your single or married, & get updates about the people you follow who are having domestic issues. And for each domestic dispute, you’ll receive a direct message & you can have the option of liking or disliking their dispute with a simple click of the LIKE or DISLIKE button. Simple right? You can even save your favorite Domestic Disputes to refer back to later or link up with a fellow divorcee. The options are endless.

Okay, this blog was supposed to go in an entirely different direction, but as the facts sloooowly surfaced about this kidnapping, I was already in too deep and instead of letting this issue go altogether, I had to spend an hour rearranging everything.I get completion anxiety. So, if this blog sounds a little ridiculous and repetitive, that’s because it is. But like your creepy uncle once said, “just go with it.”