The Truth…

With your back turned to me,
pushing wardrobe on hangers
from one side to the next, you
came to a decision. A decision
about me.

Still rubbing the sleep from
my eyes, barely awake and blurry
eye’d, I felt something was amiss.
Women’s intuition I suppose.

You continued to get dressed,
avoiding all eye contact with me,
as well as physical contact. You
couldn’t escape fast enough.

And then you spoke.

You said three lines:
“This isn’t working out.”
“We can still be friends.”
“I want to live alone.”

You couldn’t even look at me.
You dressed quickly and raced
right passed me. I didn’t even
have a foot out of bed and you
just left.

You avoided everything about me.
You avoided my entire being. I
didn’t even exist to you. Then I
heard the front door slam as you
left for work.

I was dumbfounded and at a loss
for words, but the slamming of
the door & the dangling of keys,
the turn of the lock, helped put
things in perspective for me.

I sat in bed, in the same spot
where you left me & went over
your callous, empty words that
came with your vacant expression,
over and over again. Repeating
every line you said.

I pulled myself together. I grabbed
my things, left nothing behind, just
as you left me behind. I wanted no
memories of me ever being there. I
was nothing to you that morning.
Perhaps I never was.

I didn’t want to leave any trace of
myself behind. I didn’t want my ghost
to linger in your apartment. I made a
choice that morning as well. I no longer
wanted to exist in your world and I still
don’t.

Your text message two days later gave me
quite the laugh. “Hope we can still be friends.”
When do the jokes end? An eight year friendship
gone. I’m sure it matters less to you. But you
did matter to me. And because I’m not a heartless
bitch, I wish you nothing but success and happiness.

I have no hard feelings or ill will towards you
& will never bad mouth you. Hell, I’m not even upset or hurt.
I’ll admit that I was for about a week, but that faded quickly.
I know you’ll do well and have much success in your endeavors.
And you’ll always have my support from a distance, but I cannot offer
you my friendship.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

2 comments

  1. Kevin J. Kobasko · May 20, 2015

    You are a Sweetheart my Dear. And to not be upset or angry proves that you are just as much an Angel on the inside as you are on the outside. I, on the other hand, am mad as Hell, and my inner Demon wants to lay down an ass whoopin’ of EPIC proportions… But, since you are my buddy, and don’t care for that violence. I will hold back the burning rage which consumes my soul. ♡

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