Congratulations to those of us who made it to 2015! Myself included. This being my first blog in over four months I feel that I should be wowing you with wisdom and wit, but it appears that you clicked on the wrong blog post. So, you’re shit out of luck.
But while you’re here…
…A few things to get you through the new year…
1.Don’t be a dick
2.Don’t masturbate in public
3.Don’t name your kids after food groups
4.Don’t watch Fox News
5.Don’t say Bae if you’re in your late twenties
6.Don’t say Bae at all
7.Relax. It’s just sex…but get tested
8.Kale is for people who hate themselves
9.Listen. Smile & then do whatever the fuck it was you were going to do anyway because you’re a fucking adult!
10.Drink your Ovaltine